Public Speaking Anxiety: Are Limiting Beliefs Holding You Back?
As a communication coach, I frequently speak with professionals from various industries. By far the most common concern I encounter is communication apprehension or public speaking anxiety.
In a previous blog post on managing communication anxiety, I outlined several steps you can take to reframe your thoughts around anxiety inducing interactions. But, where do these thoughts come from?
Many of us are guilty of illogical thinking or limiting beliefs that hold us back and cause anxiety to actually increase. In this post, I will outline 4 such thoughts that lead to increased anxiety and strain communication interactions.
Expecting Perfection. Take a moment and think about some of the best speakers you’ve encountered. What characteristics do you admire most about their public speaking skills? When listening, do you notice errors or mistakes in their delivery? Probably not.
This perception of perfection in those we admire can impact our own delivery. Too often, we think an effective presentation means a flawless presentation that is free of even the smallest error or mistake. This is an unrealistic view of the public speaking experience and can lead to defeating thoughts like, “This is too difficult…” or “I’ll never be able to do this…” and thus a negative evaluation of every public speaking event. Expecting perfection can lead to an unhealthy emotional response and further increase anxiety and fear.
Illusion of Transparency. One of the most challenging aspects of public speaking is gaining comfort with being the center of attention. Combine this with a fear that any physical expressions of your anxiety (for example, increased heart rate, shaky voice, trembling hands, etc.) will be obvious to your audience. The reality is, your audience is most often unaware of any discomfort you might be experiencing. It is important to realize you are not transparent. In fact, audiences typically perceive speakers as less anxious than speakers rate themselves. It is only when we vocalize our nervousness that we let others in on what we’re actually feeling.
Catastrophic Thinking. One of the most harmful things you can do as you prepare to speak is expect the worst. We begin to imagine all of the things that can go wrong, and then assume they will. Yes, it is entirely possible that something will not go as planned; and you might even experience a major mishap during your presentation. But, a better way to prepare yourself mentally would be to consider constructive ways you can handle errors or missteps when they occur during your speech. If your concerns involve doubts about your abilities, use the mental time to practice to gain comfort with your content and delivery. If your concerns involve expectations of how others will react, ask yourself how you might challenge these defeating thoughts. The future is not completely predictable; and even if your worst case scenario does happen, it most likely won't be as bad as you think.
Overgeneralizing. Sometimes our self-talk includes phrases like ‘always’ and ‘never’. For example, we might say " I always make mistakes when I speak in front of others " or " I'll never feel comfortable speaking in front of a group " when a more accurate description of your behaviors or abilities would be, “I often get nervous and make mistakes... " or "I don't feel comfortable speaking in front of a group." The latter statements indicate areas where, with time and effort, improvements can be made. When we overgeneralize, we eliminate the possibility for change. So instead, set a realistic goal for what you would like to do differently and focus on the changes you wish to make rather than on your past behaviors.
By now, you hopefully realize some level of anxiety is completely normal. This in no way minimizes the experience of communication anxiety. It is very real and can be a challenge for even the most seasoned and confident professional. A communication coach can work with you to help identify your limiting or illogical beliefs and provide you with practical tools to challenge these beliefs and reframe your thoughts. Remember, you have the ability to change your own narrative and realize your true potential.